MARRIAGE: Forgive One Another

The last edition on marriage was to admonish us and also encourage us to read. Reading is an essential aspect of life. All men that succeed in one area or the other know what others do not know. Knowledge on different matters secures the informed on such matters. To be knowledgeable is to be informed and to be informed is to be strengthened to face future challenges and celebrations.

Therefore my people are gone into captivity, because they have no knowledge: and their honourable men are famished, and their multitude dried up with thirst.

                                                                                               Isaiah 5:13

A few homes are in captivity today because the ADEQUATE knowledge needed for sustenance of peace is not there and the only way to become free is to know the truth which is God’s word. Any couple that desire or pray to have a peaceful home must know the importance of FORGIVENESS as a tool of unity.

And become useful and helpful and kind to one another, tenderhearted(compassionate,understanding,lovinghearted),FORGIVING ONE ANOTHER (readily and freely), as God in Christ forgave you.

                                                     Ephesians 4:32 (AMP)

The role of forgiveness in marriage cannot be overlooked. There is an adage in Africa that says “the tongue and mouth quarrel, but they resolve it without departing from each other”. The tongue and mouth could be likened as the wife and husband; it means that even when there are misunderstandings, they have a way of resolving their issues. One of such ways is through forgiving each other. I am quite sure that we do offend one another in life but how well have we taken a reasonable step to resolve the issues? To forgive means to cease to feel angry or bitter. It is a combination of two words ‘fore’ and ‘give’. Fore- before while give-cause to have, in other words, ‘fore-give’ implies that before anything is done wrong by your spouse you have already caused him/her to be pardoned. The moment you say ‘Yes, I do’, it implies that you have said I forgive her/him of whatever wrong she/he has done and also what she/he may do wrong. That is why it is essential to exercise openness in relationships.

I also know that it hurts when our loved ones offend us but for the sake of God’s word that says ‘I HATE DIVORCE’ (Malachi 2:16) let us hold on and allow God’s love to fill our hearts in place of hatred to our spouses, However, this may be difficult if Jesus is not in your heart. Open the door of your heart to Jesus; He is the prince of peace. I know that God will restore homes that are going through difficult periods if only you give Jesus the opportunity. Whatever your spouse might have done to wrong you, please FORGIVE. Let me share this story from my coming book titled ‘The Father’s Intent’. The story was shared via a radio presenter and I believe it will be of help. Anytime I remember this story, I imagine how a man can also demonstrate true love and forgiveness to his spouse.

In preparation for marriage, a young man visited the home town of his would be wife where he met the brothers of the lady. They welcomed him and ushered him into a room. Then the brothers called their sister and offered her the sum of fifteen thousand naira (Nigerian currency) to have her fiance for food. After a little resistance, she agreed and handed over the man to them. They tied him naked to a tree with fire being prepared for his roasting, but God showed up. All of a sudden the police came and rounded up everybody because that was not the first time such wicked act was carried out. However, the interesting part of this was that after about three weeks of the incident, the lady came looking for the man and apologised for her wrong doing. The man forgave her and as at the time the story was narrated the couple had gotten two children. Hmmm! Did you say God forbid? Of course, it may be tasking, nonetheless have MERCY and FORGIVE your spouse; perhaps your spouse did not do such a terrible thing to you. Please kindly remember how you cared for him/her at the beginning. A minister of God once said we need to develop ‘blind eyes and deaf ears’ in order to be at peace with one another. It means that we ought not to always react to what we hear or see.

Perhaps she/he had said negative things to you, FORGIVE and move on there is still joy ahead if only you close your ears and eyes to things that disturb the peace of the home.

And whenever you stand to pray, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him and let it drop (leave it, let it go), in order that your Father Who is in heaven may also forgive you your (own) failings and shortcomings and let them drop.

But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your failings and shortcomings.

                                                          Mark 11:25-26 (AMP)

God wants us to pardon our spouses so that He will be delighted in us, thereby forgiving us of our own shortcomings. Be merciful enough to forgive your spouse. Unforgivness will hinder the prayers that are necessary for the turn around. The Lord shall shed in our hearts His love in Jesus’ name. Amen. The next edition will be on PRAYERS. I believe God will surely restore joy to many marriages in Jesus’ name. Amen.